Vulnerability doesn't come easily to men, or to women for that matter. But it's incredibly important for our wellbeing to share how we are feeling and to clean out our built up emotional baggage.
Our lives depend on it.
Six men commit suicide every day in Australia, most of them leaving behind grieving loved ones with no idea that they were struggling. How does this happen? Why are we afraid of asking for help to the point of pretending to be ok and lying to our loved ones? This needs to change.
Six men commit suicide every day in Australia, most of them leaving behind grieving loved ones with no idea that they were struggling.
After recording our podcast episode on The Power of Vulnerability (listen to it below) we had an amazing response, from both men and women, about how we were able to put it all on the line and share how we were feeling. I tell you what, it felt great but it definitely wasn't easy.
We spoke about how we have felt in the past, and how we overcame the urge to hold it all in. We have both struggled, and continue to do so, but the power and strength we have gained through vulnerability is immense. This is true masculine power, and we want to share it.
Now, I'm not recommending that every man out there starts a podcast and shares their deepest struggles with the world. Talking to one person will do. You can move on to the rest of the world later.
In order for us to actually want to be vulnerable, we need to see the benefits. Although there are many others, I've outlined a few below.
- It builds intimacy in relationships.
You can't really get to know someone unless they truly see you. So, opening up to your partner and sharing your true self is invaluable. This can seem scary, but it's necessary for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Remember, a big part of being in a relationship is nurturing each other. That is extremely difficult if you aren't telling your partner how you feel.
- You won't be so lonely.
If you share what you are feeling with people, more often than not you will discover that they are struggling too. This will make you realise that you are not alone. You have support if you seek it.
- You will attract the right kind of people into your life.
We pretend that we aren't vulnerable because we think people won't like it if we are. The opposite is true. People want you to be real and to understand what you are going through. How can they help if you don't open up to them? To attract people who will understand and compliment you in your life, you need to show them the real you. And anyone that doesn't like it can take a hike...
Now, before you jump in the deep end and try and muscle your way to emotional freedom, let's make it easier for you.
1. Find someone you trust.
Go easy on yourself and be vulnerable with someone you know will support you. This can be your partner, a parent, a mentor or your best mate.
If you can't think of anyone you trust in your social circles, get in touch with an organisation like Beyond Blue, or even us! We are always up for a chat.
Go easy on yourself and be vulnerable with someone you know will support you.
2. Plan what you are going to say.
The hardest part about opening up to someone is often not knowing what to say. So why not write a script in your head on your way to meet them or just take a moment to think about it before you approach them. I've even been known to write things down on a piece of paper and read it out word for word. Whatever works!
3. Take it slow.
You don't have to share everything straight away! Just start with the easy stuff and be proud that you have done it. There is nothing wrong with just saying, "Hey I'm not feeling great today". That's all it takes, you will build momentum from there.
4. Go for a drive.
It might help to keep yourself busy while you're talking to someone. Driving is a great way to not feel so uncomfortable when being vulnerable. Your hands are busy and you don't have to look anyone in the eye.
Remember that it takes real strength to be vulnerable. Be proud of yourself!
Now go out there. Be brave enough to be open and vulnerable. You'll be amazed at how good you will feel.